I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
