When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
