Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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