yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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