:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
