Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
