I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize