There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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