im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Found your dick twin last night
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
