Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
