Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
