Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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