I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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