So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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