I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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