I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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