Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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