3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
