so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
