I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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