So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
