I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
