He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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