We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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