I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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