Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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