Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
