I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
