im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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