So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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