I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
