Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
