i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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