Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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