Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm both gender and math confused
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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