you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
