I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
