matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
