my sisters under your porch take her home
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
