Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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