It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
