So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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