Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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