I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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