There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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