that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
