How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
