you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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