I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
they need to just BURY HIM!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
