Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.

(503): View more from Oregon

Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.

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(440): View more from Ohio

So you threw a sword at me last night

(419): View more from Ohio

I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.

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(330): View more from Ohio

he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.

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(206): View more from Washington

I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

(501): View more from Arkansas

Strong work

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious

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(801): View more from Utah

I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.

(1-801): View more from Utah

I'll pay you to teach me.

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