Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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