What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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