3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
