I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
