Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
