Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
