Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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