So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
