No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
