what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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