idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Will exercising make me less horny?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
